Delight

 What is our delight in?

I recently came across an instagram post that details the pronounciation and spelling of the word "Lion" in various languages. 

Apparently, the word Lion in Turkish is Aslan.

Wow, C S Lewis, nice usage of the turkish word there.

It then reminded me that the witch, upon encountering Edward, Edward asked for Turkish delight. Maybe the real turkish delight is Aslan, the turkish word for lion. Maybe Aslan is the real turkish delight. Is the turkish delight we long for the candy? It is very good, and delicious. But it soon runs empty and dry.

What is truly satisfying?

Or maybe the question should be... Who is truly satisfying?

Aslan, come and satisfy.

Ready

 Being ready is not just ticking every box in the check list.

Ready - the early meaning is to be ready to ride, perhaps on horses. 

Maybe ready is to be prepared, having counted the cost, to sail the highs and ride the lows, a mindset to have.

Being ready does not mean being unsurprised. Ready signifies in a state with capacity to handle what comes. 

You can tick every checkbox off the list, and still, not ready. Ready is being able to step forward to welcome the unexpected, unfazed at the strange and confidently meeting the known and unknown.

Self - Reflection

I was just thinking about life and I was feeling pretty lousy about myself. This isn't about having low self-esteem, but rather, I felt very dissatisfied with the condition of my physical health and physical body shape.

I then came across an article that talks about losing belly fat.

 Article from: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323309#how-to-lose-belly-fat

See, if I were to inhale, and suck in the stomach region of my body, I would look as if I portray the body shape of a normal, healthy, young adult. However, that is not the case. 

What I saw is not to my liking.

The article that I read hits home for 4 out of 7 points.

The points are as follows.

<article excerpt starts>
1. Improving their diet

"May want to avoid sugar, fatty foods, and refined carbohydrates that have low nutritional content. Instead, eat plenty of fruit and vegetables, lean proteins, and complex carbohydrates."

2. Increasing exercise

"Sedentary lifestyle can lead to many serious health problems, including weight gain. Include a good amount of aerobic exercise and strength training in your daily routine."

3. Reducing stress

The release of the stress hormone cortisol influences a person’s appetite and could cause them to eat more. Stress-relieving tactics include mindfulness and meditation, and gentle exercise like yoga.

4. Improving sleep patterns

Sleep is vital to people’s overall health. Sleep allows the body to rest, heal, and recover, and it can affect a person’s weight. Getting enough quality sleep is essential when a person is trying to shed weight, including belly fat.

<article excerpt ends>

The other points are also important, however I am not including them as they are not the points that I want to focus on. If you think that the aforementioned points contains advice already an integral part to your life, and would want additional relevant advice, do check out the article. 

But basically I am trying to hold myself accountable because self-discipline is a very key component to growth. 


As for me, seeing that you, the reader, made your way through my meandering post, let me provide more updates on my life. The main reason why I am now focusing on my health is that I have finally taken care of a very important portion of my life: finances. Finances have not been an easy part of my life ever since well.... I was young. But, by the generous grace of the One above, I am now out of the red. And I mean, out of the red.

See, in the past 25 years of my life, finances have always been a rocky question, with unforeseen circumstances happening sporadically. But, with the foundation of a steady job, a couple of (processed and pending) pay increments, I have managed to finally set aside a sizeable amount of my savings every month. Only for a couple of months, however it is not the size of the accomplishment that matters, but the habit that is cultivated sustainably. 

And now, to move on in the my holistic self-development plan, fitness. Not just in terms of overall weight, but also in terms of body fat percentage. To know thyself and win a hundred battles. The journey has just begun, hopefully a pleasing progress update report will be available in the form of a blogpost by the end of the year. 

Every step an arrival

Recently I bought a book titled 'Every step an arrival'.
The book is a 90-day devotional by Eugene H. Peterson, most famously known for translating the Bible into 'The Message' version. And in one of the devotionals, Peterson asked the reader to name a way where God made a difference in your life. And now to tell the story back to God in song.

So here it is.
Earlier this year, I had appendicitis. And in the darkest moment of my life, God allowed good friends to come into my life to encourage me and made the hospitalisation period much more bearable.


In the darkest moment of my life
You brought me joy
You brought your joy back into my life
You took my pain
I live again
Bringing glory to your name

You're my majesty.

desire to be in You.

Poem - Struggle

How alone must David have felt? 

Every day out in the open only with the sheep

How alone was David at night?

Only animals and stars are in sight

How lonely was David on the inside?

He tried to fill it with battle and wives

Yet what could bring him delight?

Only when He realise, the Lord is there beside.

If you see, believe

Can you imagine? Seeing the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus; but some doubted. 
I pray that I can be counted worthy. That this one touch from heaven will change my life.

I pray that if you experience the Saviour, you will not turn back from His Love. 
I need to be more broken.

Fast.

Been thinking about what Pastor Jentezen always speak about fasting and how he always starts the year with fasting....

Death to the carnal nature, death to the old lifestyle.

自制是很重要的.

Fasting. Fasting is really a torture. 

Oh wells, it is time to rest. 

2020 will be a good year. A year of deeper intimacy.

The whole purpose of life is to pursue.

Your purpose is determine by the end of your pursuit.

Love relationship with God

I'm so thankful for this year.
At last year, I remember that my personal encounter was to know God more by really hearing Him more. I so much so much want to hear [even an] audible voice of God.

It goes back to this verse in Gen 3:8a
Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, And it hit me that God's original plan for creation is to hear the sound of his voice in the cool of the day. In the evenings, at any moment. That the communion with God, to hear Him speak so clearly is at the heart of a relationship with Him.

Throughout this year, I am really so grateful to have experienced God in so much more ways and that I know that He loves me so so so much.

Despite, in spite, as I am, I am loved.

God I pray, that in 2020, You will continue to lead me like you have led.

I have experienced that God is a God who gives us what we desire.

In 2018, I desire to go to SOT. In 2019, I went to SOT, whilst holding my job, and did not compromise on my commitments of spending quality time with my mom, and saw movements of waves in love sweeping over me. Your love is relentless.

In 2020, I desire to have an even more intimate relationship with God.

I also would like to study. But how will the provision be settled?

The provider will provide. May the abiding within the will continue and abound.

Ending off, heres a nice pic of me HAHAH:

Also thankful to have grown so much. Truly I was carried through the storms.

Truly, He is the saving grace of the galaxies. How do I even begin to thank You? Unending blessings, constant favour, overflowing grace.... Yet never condemned, never pressured. Your drawing is so gentle.... I want to be more and more like You. 

Thoughts....

The question that has been stuck in my mind for the past few months is this question that is if Jesus is always with me and Jesus is always praying for me then what on earth is he praying for me about? What is He thinking about of me? What are the things that He is praying for me that God will definitely answer?
God's people are praying people. I need to pray.

We all need a revealed new understanding of how God looks at us.

Poem: love

Ever since we said "I do",
There're now so many things we don't
And for that I keep blaming you
And you are angry at my tone.

The rise and grind, the bread and wine,
Puts a frown as morning dawn.
Still family, and still love, we whine
Looking at each other, happy yet torn.

It's barely been a year or two
Since we went for our honeymoon
Reality makes us a fool
And we work till we're Looney tuned.

The slamming of doors the throwing of hands
Till we cry for nights on end
Yet remember, how this love it flutter
And the reason it all began.

-huangxi

King of my heart. 21 Nov 2018

The only thing in your entire life that is greater than your fears should be your conviction. Even if your understanding and experience does not match yet you must know and let confidence fill you today. Sometimes you do things because you're sure, other times you do it until you're sure,

I am completely convinced,
COMPLETELY.

I want it to be remembered that I was a singer of this song, and that I truly believed in this song.

King of my heart.

Solution

I'd rather stay and wait
On bended knees
Than to fight without You
Only to flee

Patience not measured
By the hours you wait
But be cheery and hopeful
Even if it's late

This ability develops slow
And waiting is its game
Learning to remain till the glory show
And fulfilled in His name.

Solution comes when you present
The girded hands and feet
Struggle not in the quicksand
But in waiting, Him you'll meet.

-huangxi

Inspired by Solution - Hillsong

Repost: Thought Catalog - Dear God, Thank You For This Happiness

Read the full article here

Excerpt from the article that really touched me:

Sometimes I’m worried that I can be happy now, and miserable later. I understand the ups and downs in this world, and that’s why I’ve grown comfortable in settling down for just “okay.”But I’ve come to know that I have a bigger God who can give me something more than just okay. I have a God who wants me to feel the joy that I deserve.

In His presence, I am never alone.  [God] is quick to heal me when I’m so broken.

God puts happiness in my life as a reminder that all my prayers are being recognized.

I promise to never forget Him  because without Him, everything is impossible.

Without Him, I will never feel whole. I will never know what love is. I will never know my purpose. And I will always feel empty.

And I want His kingdom to be my home when my story comes to an end.

And with Him, the empty holes in my heart are always filled by His love. 

Poem - Purpose

I woke up to the sunrise,
Though at three i sleep.
Look out at the windows,
Greeted by the tweet.

Tired still, i tossed and turn
Wanting my slumberland.
Yet mundane tasks filled my brain
From beginning till the end

The plan erupts!
Still in pajamas
My mind opened a can -

Of worms to squash,
And a smile to see,
Of yours at the end.

-huangxi

Ps: it's 2am, i have work at 7am and I can't sleep. take the wheel Jesus. I am soooooo tired but I can't sleep

speak

I long to hear the voice of heaven drawing near to me
With each word you breath new life reviving hope in me


New hope, new life...

I will wait everyday just to hear your voice, in the quiet place; I know you're close.

I love you Jesus.

With open arms and an open heart, I come to You, Daddy God.






Open communication. I never want to hide anything from you daddy, and I pray you will give me the peace to listen and understand every word you speak. Let your voice calm the fear in me. You're my solid rock, you are.

nerves!

Had a successful interview yesterday, one more tomorrow. 

GO SAM!

Immediate

Hearts you move. 
Rain, i must call. 
Relationships, we speak. 
Water, i drink. 
Yearningly run; 
to You i come. 
Distractions diminish,
until this race i finish.

-huangxi

On your marks

Take what you need,
and only what you need.
The road is long. 

Pack enough, pack light, 
bring a friend. 
That's what will see you through,
till the end.

-huangxi

Hide and Seek: His Will isn't the point (Taken from Pst Steven Furtick's blog)

It is the glory of God to conceal a matter.

Proverbs 25:2

There's a reason God's will in specific situations is so difficult to know sometimes. There's a reason that not everything is black and white. It can be difficult to discern God's will for a lot of situations.

Who to date.

Where to go to college.

Who to marry.

Where to move.

What job to take.

And it's not because you're not praying. You're probably praying a lot. It's not because you don't want to know His will. You probably aren't lacking that desire.

But according to this verse in Proverbs, it's because God conceals.

But why? After all, that seems counterintuitive to God's purposes and using you in them.

The reason isn't because God doesn't want you to know His will. He wants you to know it more than you want to know it. God has something so much greater for you instead.

Him.

God's not up in heaven hiding His will, hoping you'll never be able to find it. But He does play hide and seek. He doesn't just want us to find His will, He wants us to find Him in the process. Because if His will was in plain view, we would seek it instead of seeking Him.

That's why he conceals it. That's why it's so hard.

The point isn't for God to make His will plain. His will isn't the main objective. He is the main objective. He wants you to discover Him above all else.

As you run after God and his good, pleasing, and perfect will, remember these two truths:

God isn't the shortcut to your best life. He is your best life.

God doesn't want to give you the guide for your life. He wants to be your Guide.

The scariest possibility for your life isn't getting God's will wrong. It's getting God's will right but barely coming to know God in the process.

You could love the right woman but lose your first love.

You could find the right career but then make it your god.

That's why He doesn't just write His will for you in the clouds. At the end of the process, He wants you to know something far greater than what you should do next with your life.

He wants you to know who He is.