28 January, 2018
Ever since young, I am a Christian. I sort of believed that Jesus is real, and without questioning accepted it as my faith.
When presented the question, my answer has always been the same: "I am a Christian."
But what I know as my religion, I slowly begin to realize how much I hate religion.
I really only care about the relationship(s).
The relationships I had with the people in Church.
The relationships I had with people of the similar faith, as (at least) most Christians are nice.
Then I realize, it is the same with God.
God in the Old Testament gave us the Ten Commandments to follow. That is the Law.
In the Age of Law, the following of it ensures safety and blessing. Disregard leads only to banishment from His presence.
Seems very much like "Either obey Me or die".
But God isn't like that. Which is why He offered an alternative.
Which is Jesus.
Jesus says this: That if you believe in Him that He can be the Way for you, to lead you in Truth to Life with God, He can cleanse and forgive your sins and heal your land.
The answer is actually to have a relationship with God.
When you have a girlfriend, you like her at the start may be due to her appearance, her sweet sweet smile, cheerful disposition and just how everything falls together. BUT, you end up doing things that she approves of, and halt habits against her disapproval because you want to be aligned with her values.
Similarly, God wants us to be able to go up to a higher level with Him, and is willing to take us higher and soar alongside us.
2 Corinthians 3:16-18 The Message (MSG) 16-18 Whenever, though, they turn to face God as Moses did, God removes the veil and there they are—face-to-face! They suddenly recognize that God is a living, personal presence, not a piece of chiseled stone. And when God is personally present, a living Spirit, that old, constricting legislation is recognized as obsolete. We’re free of it! All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him.
When we enter into a relationship with God, a communal relationship, we are saying
God let us be like lovers,
let us be like friends.
We'll go through stuff together,
all things hand in hand.
Lead me down the path
Mountains and valleys low
Your presence is enough
It's all I need to know
When we see that God has let Jesus tear the veil, and we see Him, face to face! And as Jesus washed us clean, now we stand facing God, shirt painted white without blemish. We realize that all He really wanted was for us to be clean and enjoy life, to depend on Him for everything, for He longs to take care of us. Really! That truth be told, He is the One beside us through every toss and turn, up and down the roller-coaster of life. He let us do the stuff that we can on our own, and He will NOT interfere, for He believes in us. As we understand that, we realize that it is not some commandments binding us anymore. We can simply choose NOT to sin because we do not want to be dirtied, it pains for us to see Jesus willingly die for us again.
And that is when we say: God, am I sick and tired of doing things my way and fail! And not only fail, because of it:
I feel lousy about myself and I cannot find validation for my mistakes.
Nothing is able to justify, what I have said, every lie.
Nothing could recuperate, the loss I've caused, the mess I've made.
So I choose to live a life that is pleasing and respectable, a life worthy to be known as Jesus' bride. His beloved that He is longing for.
This is why Christianity is a relationship for me.
Because of this Cross.
Because of this cross, I am going to pursue a relationship with who I call God.
23 January, 2018
what is empty in the heart.
You stuff your lungs with smoke,
when all you need is hope.
Walking in the cold alleyway
With a crumpled bill of fifty
Searching for things with value
Until you reach the city
Beggaring is not about the lack
Of food, a place, or poverty.
These people require, I suspect
Love from a family.
12 January, 2018
11 January, 2018
31 December, 2017
three hundred and sixty five
days placed into months
and seasons of joy and life
starts off chilly and cold
February breaks the mold
March ushers in the sun
until July's Autumn
Yet not forget Summer
which springs up after Spring
the flip-side season of winter
Oh what joy it brings!
Basking in the sun
till August leaves turn red
and September winds come
makes the leafmeal bed.
From yellow to orange then red
It ends off white instead
Yet after the stormy snow
The sun will reset aglow.
26 December, 2017
20 December, 2017
I don't know what poem this is. Thoughts overflow like a shower rampant waterfall.
Noise clutters, yet the silence speaks.
You speak to me in words, I reply you with emotions.
Stop hurting, start healing. Healing starts only when one realizes they can be healed, not just that they are injured.
29 July, 2017
pacing away from the landing of paws
furry feline; a mobile threat,
dictionary's definition of death.
A rodent's life mission
not chosen but given
to bring for the next generation
a better starting point.
in every caste
but its relative happiness?
On a different scale.
The tiring rat race
Will it ever end?
Even if it does,
What reward is at hand?
On the deathbed of hay, the rat rest and stay,
what thoughts will break his piece of mind?
but to know its son's best move isn't to pray,
It may have one last breath and rest in time.
21 May, 2017
i tried with despair
you're here with me
As i make that prayer
behind all alone
but your embracing hugs
will make me feel at home
Which I don't get for we're far apart
soon i will be back, though dirty and rugged;
Please still accept me, I give you my heart.
13 March, 2017
Four walls around, cement and bricks;
The corner has cobwebs, spiders and liz-
ards are crawling, this is their home
in which you're confined in, stuck all alone
Days passed and nights come
Through the window you observe
Daily a new scoffer will ask
For what sin do you this sentence, serve?
Inquisitive or caring, one does not know
But lumps in the throat comes as I reply
To speak my evil with truth and without my sorrow
As I patiently wait for the day which I fly-
out beyond the bars, no longer in premises
And with my green card I explore my freedom
No longer in dreadfully ugly clothes
Though it's still far I dream of this moment
Can I faster finish my SOL of 28 days.....
26 February, 2017
Sometimes you win,
Sometimes you lose,
Sometimes you just sit down with booze.
There's cuts that kill
And wounds that heal
But don't forget those whom you knew
Were there in sunshine
Beside you in rain
Offer you a shoulder to ease through the pain
No currency nor change
Could put up my smile
Like one my best friend arranged
And place there for a while
20 January, 2017
Grey cylinder standing strong
Supporting up the ceiling wall
Firm and upright built with might
Making sure that it won't fall.
Gravity's center lies on it
Yet it does not budge
Even when it suffer a hit
There's no difference than a touch.
Just what we need to hold our lives
Without cluttering our mind
Removing it is like playing dice
No control of any kind
Some hug it, lean on it, stare at it in awe
It's existence is our cure
For all the troubles we may have
This pillar will hold them all.
15 December, 2016
Apologies. I meant,
All right fine, I turned 21.
Since then till now, adult life has been a little bit of a hussle.
Starting with, I had to move out and get a room(with myself only, dummy).
Packing your stuff is a HUGE thing to do especially if you have not done it before.
21 July, 2016
But yet a mystery within her holds
A unique sparkle, dazzle and shimmer
She steadies her footing as her beauty unfolds
And face the future - smiling both eyes closed.
18 July, 2016
Satan kept my space in hell
I ain't even talking shit on rape
It's just some sentences don't flow so well
They talk to me about reputation
When we bite the dust it's all about the money
They can't fathom this weird sensation
All they want is to be happy
Who cares about the field beyond the fence
It ain't about being hipster or grass being greener
Yes your lost when it comes to romance
But stay true to yourself, well that's what matter
Never mind the stares, or the chatter behind
You have one destiny in this race against time
Face tilted up, embracing sunshine
Nevermind what i lose for it aint even mine
No matter the obstacles along my journey
Just don't stop me from my destiny
I have one life, with one pursuit,
I'll burn with passion, and finish my route.\
-will edit again when I feel better about myself
13 June, 2016
From human bones in dried river streams
These skulls, joints and broken bones
Though together were all so alone
The neighbouring dust and stones disguise
The pain and suffering inside
Each step taken into the valley
Gave them anguish instead of merry
These people had their ups in life
But through this down did not survive
Had they finished their melody
Would they have lived their destiny
Sad sights heaven saw looking down below
Weary people, soulless eyes use rocks for pillow
- Many tears they cried for they didn't win but lose
At least in heaven they now have repose
In life, heaven is often seen as struggles repose.
In our father's arms we have our failures' repose.
But if you sojourn alone, you give your own repose.
To a certain you out there: stop being so hard on yourself. You go through the valleys of life and you failed somewhere along the way, your dreams turn to dust and your anger got you carried away, this anger at self don't let it stay, but remember keep happiness at bay. Think of the sun in the month of May, shining brightly at noonday; you are good enough don't prove it to me, it doesn't matter for you're loved already.
06 June, 2016
But our hearts no longer knew
Coz though we stood there side by side,
We didn't have a clue
As to why we weren't talking,
Or what to talk about
All that's left is silence dancing -
And the sound it makes - so loud.
We took a picture - who's idea?
printed it on paper.
One for you and one for me,
To hold it just as dear
But after you left you then recalled,
The picture's stil' at my place.
We then agreed to meet again
And it'll be yours when I see your face.
And as I returned to my abode
Two polaroids at my place.
Identical were the smiles that showed
The happiness on our face.
But the picture just couldn't capture
The feelings in my heart.
I don't know if you want together
But I don't want to be apart.
30 May, 2016
20 May, 2016
Being the person that I am(no, not good hearted, by that I mean boreddddd), I went to rainy chat to take a look.