19 June, 2015


I tried to embrace so many different genre of music, types of films. But it is always that one genre, that beautiful mystique in surreal sounds and inaudible air riffs that make me fall in love with poems, song lyrics that write a certain jingle coupled with a strange, buzzling joyful melody that brings me up and makes me sing it out loud, creating a persona in me that wants to bring my best out for this song, and this song, it resonates deep within me and holding in its charmful pocket my exact sentiments, my equilateral feelings; amplifying it and making me feel like there is a bubble; a bubble filling up the void left by the vessels around me who are mellow and drowning and the space created, this space is like a bubble bouncing gently about and me being in the centre of it; and as i see the sunbeams dazzling and glowing into my zone; i gently whisper for a door to be opened; and I hereby invite you in. :)


PS: practicing my prose and just writing my thoughts. :)

11 June, 2015

Poem - Human pentimento

It's the fire scene that scarred me
crimson blood dripping from the tree
Run; trip, scratch through and past twigs
I hide in the cleft; the lee of the stone.

Cracked skin; broken lines on palm
We hide what we are afraid to show
Longing to see what we do not know
Hiding from people; feeling low.

Vile reminder of life, standing in front of strife
Clammy hands; clammy feet
Independent of how much I tried
Despite all, I faced defeat

No relief from the noises above
Thundering! Yelling! yet mutterings of love
All sorts of lies, diverse masks
We put our heart in wooden casks.

The torturer knows no sorrow
His goal in sight when your pain you hide

Yet - a gall I will lick
No regrets to this life I live
Thick and thin is no difference
The world belong to the meek

Tarry in this pain
Tarry just a while
Pain brings relief to lunatics
me smile

There is no biasedness in life
Just too many nuts
All you need is be set straight
To light up your own spark.


PS: aren't we all like a human pentimento.
we hide from our past, our ugly and our life.
we only show what we want others to see
so others will see and then they believe
But really our lives changed so much
as we struggle between our thoughts
who to be and what to say
cluttering thoughts in our mind each day.
constantly repainting
we want a fresh canvas
but life has no restarts
so put your best foot first.

I just want to live

Its like swimming, you push yourself in, get up. It's good exercise. You train ur muscles. You get to play with water. Unleash the inner kid in you.
I wish I know how to swim.

But I can't swim. I can't. I want to experience life like others but as I push myself in all I find is a drowning me gasping for air, wanting to live the way I know. And so I held my breath and stretched my smile. There is no doubt of course, how I was the weirdest in the school of fishes swimming, always floating to the top like a whale. But it was just the case: mammal me do not own gills. It is not in my system. I conform, but I know I must be who I am.

Don't you think that I'm a runner, I'll be coming with my guns up shooting at the moon to bring the sun up.

Find no meaning in life? It's fine. Just write down a goal you think will take your entire life to achieve. Now go. Pick yourself up. You are you and only you are fully responsible for yourself and for yourself only. I learnt that a long time ago and boy, I wasn't glad. I was furious, cringing at the fact that I had to embrace such a travesty. But like the cracked mirror, it was truth. Shatter it. Shatter it. Pick up something you create. Form your own mould and mould your own form. Set apart yourself like a flower from weeds. Create your avatar and be your avatar. Don't be a facade. Be your avatar. Be one with the facade. Because you know that you deserve to be who you want to be, and people will come to like you if you are truly happy with who you are. If you are and people don't like you, you wouldn't bother anyway. That's how you know.


07 June, 2015

Current Thoughts

Meteor Shower

I can finally see that You're right there beside me
I am not my own, for I have been made new
Please don't let me go I desperately need You

I am not my own, for I have been made new
Please don't let me go I desperately need You

Song by Owl City https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwzhdRubxFo

How I feel right now in my life. I need to grab hold on to what I lost.
I lost myself.
I pursued a new goal, another new goal, another new goal, and then the mask was removed. I am no longer a facade. I don't want to hide anymore. I am not who I used to be. I can still do what I do best, but I am, on the inside just a hollow shell. And in this hollow shell I am having people lambasting words into it, like a loudhailer, and I transferred all those pain, all those thoughts, all those empty words into my own ballad, I became my own bard.

"A tongue of lamentations pouring out, a whole volume of remorse. Like wet paint, splashed on to the walls with great anguish. The crimson splatter on the floor and the slow drips, a waterfall flowing as it hits from the cascade to the base, without sound, but it can be heard. Pain can be heard."

03 June, 2015

Life securities

I want to just focus on work but there are so many problems around me. Seems like life is life huh. You can never just focus on one thing because life requires us to juggle many responsibilities.

This is why I always want to envision a beautiful future. I want to be able to have a beautiful future real bad. One where my mind can rest in the knowing of my life being secured, assured, and in bliss.

01 June, 2015


We're already in this day and age where lives are lived in a way where we are constantly seeking approval, engaging into the rat race that we forgot to take a step back and enter, delve into this new experience called living, and not just living per se but in fact doing things that are focused on one thing and the one thing that will remain - relationships. Relationships can end, but it cannot be ended without choice. Food must be consumed, clothes will get spoiled, old or out of fashion. But a relationship is different because it has the potential - to last forever. It has the potential to stay in existence so long its corresponding mind stays in existence. And when people dies, who knows? Maybe the minds are still alive, just without a mouthpiece.