This isn't the end

An eight year old girl had a panic attack
'Cause the father she loved left and never looked back
No longer the hero she counted on
He told her he loved her and then he was gone

She tried to look happy in front of her friends
But knew that she'd never feel normal again
She fought back the tears as they filled her eyes
And wanted him back just to tell him goodbye

When the rain falls down
When it all turns around
When the light goes out
This isn't the end

Her dad was a good guy that everyone liked
But nobody knew he was dying inside
He promised his family he'd be alright
And then with a gunshot he left them behind

When the rain falls down
When it all turns around
When the light goes out
This isn't the end

When the rain falls down
When it all turns around
When the light goes out
This isn't the end, no.

The role of a father he never deserved
He abandoned his daughter and never returned
And over the years though the pain was real
She finally forgave him and started to heal

How close is the ending, well, nobody knows
The future's a mystery and anything goes
Love is confusing and life is hard
You fight to survive 'cause you made it this far

It's all too astounding to comprehend
It's just the beginning this isn't the end
It's just the beginning this isn't the end

- Adam Young

Haiku: Pleasure routine

Lie between the twigs nuances of thy nature's guise the bird tweet~ and sleep :)

-hx

Wow.

No one has yet believed in God and the kingdom of God, no one has yet heard about the realm of the resurrected and not been homesick from that hour, waiting and looking forward to being released from bodily existence.
Whether we are young or old makes no difference. What are twenty or thirty or fifty years in the sight of God? And which of us knows how near he or she may already be to the goal? That life only really begins when it ends here on earth, that all that is here is only the prologue before the curtain goes up — that is for young and old alike to think about. Why are we so afraid when we think about death? Death is only dreadful for those who live in dread and fear of it. Death is not wild and terrible, if only we can be still and hold fast to God’s Word. Death is not bitter if we have not become bitter ourselves. Death is grace, the greatest gift of grace that God gives to people who believe in him. Death is mild, death is sweet and gentle; it beckons to us with heavenly power if only we realize that it is the gateway to our homeland, the tabernacle of joy, the everlasting kingdom of peace.
How do we know that dying is so dreadful? Who knows whether in our human fear and anguish we are only shivering and shuddering at the most glorious, heavenly, blessed event in the world?
Death is hell and night and cold if it is not transformed by our faith. But that is just what is so marvelous, that we can transform death.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer
1906-1945

Oh my.

Reading and this hit me big time. I hadn’t thought about that last sentence much before because it’s easy to read and move on, but last night I couldn’t stop rereading it. I clicked the lamp off so inspired to live this and not just read it and forget about it. I barely got any sleep as usual. How is there so much power in a book?? Fantastiska

So my brothers and sisters, we must not be ruled by our sinful selves or live the way our sinful selves want. If you use your lives to do the wrong things your sinful selves want, you will die spiritually. But if you use the Spirit’s help to stop doing the wrong things you do with your body, you will have true life. The true children of God are those who let God’s Spirit lead them. The Spirit we received does not make us slaves again to fear; it makes us children of God. With that Spirit we cry out, “Father.” And the Spirit himself joins with our spirits to say we are God’s children. If we are God’s children, we will receive blessings from God together with Christ. But we must suffer as Christ suffered so that we will have glory as Christ has glory.

Romans 8: 12-17

copied from Owlcity

Via ayoungblog.com

Yup.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. In God’s great mercy he has caused us to be born again into a living hope because Jesus Christ rose from the dead. Now we hope for the blessings God has for his children. These blessings, which cannot be destroyed or be spoiled or lose their beauty, are kept in heaven for you. God’s power protects you through your faith until salvation is shown to you at the end of time. This makes you very happy even though now for a short time different kinds of troubles may make you sad. These troubles come to prove that your faith is pure. This purity of faith is worth more than gold, which can be proved to be pure by fire but will ruin. But the purity of your faith will bring you praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ is shown to you. You have not seen Christ but still you love him; you cannot see him now, but you believe in him. So you are filled with a joy that cannot be explained, a joy full of glory, and you are receiving the goal of your faith — the salvation of your souls. 1 Peter 1: 3-9

This test is funny

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Updated 2015 Feb:

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.


Hmmm... some things still stay the same.

Poem - Mirror

my past I now no longer look,
I shut my eyes and crossed the brook.
mirrors reflect what I expect
Only the things I have regretted.

What a fragment made from sand
spectacular to behold
But, alas, a knock to come
Only tragedy unfolds.

And brooks I crossed with great despair
on whether I get the truth
As painted by the mirror then
That truth may not be true

Ugly paintings are still paintings
Just as life is life
What we get we don't expect
But will we tell the lie?

-hx

PS: No idea how to end it. 4th paragraph may be edited again. Very tough to end. Even right now, the ending is not good. Sad.

PPS: 4th paragraph edited 20 Feb 2015

Getting Back on Track

Ever felt that you are behind schedule on many things and have no idea how to overcome all these things when all you want to do is to die?

So, how do you escape that?

Step 1:
When you have many things coming at you on all sides, take a deep breath and have a nice cool drink.
Relax, soothe yourself. Find somewhere secluded and comfortable and prepare some paper and a pen.

Step 2:
List down the things that you need to complete within the next one month. These could be simple tasks that you need to do, like cleaning your cupboard, to finishing some reports.
Don't list down mundane things that you would do, like eating unless you do not eat on time and properly, of course.

Step 3: Take a look at the list and now write them down on another piece of paper in accordance of priority to complete. Now put the header as TO DO LIST. Staple it somewhere, put it on a post it notes(the top 5 things to be done), if you have a white board at home next to your bed that would be great. Put it on a note widget of your phone, or simply set it as your wall paper to constantly remind yourself about it. Place a note onto your desktop, stick it around somewhere. Set Alarms with descriptions do task A.

Step 4: Do one of the tasks(as high priority as possible immediately! Do not waste time at all. Even if you are unable to do the task straight away, Plan out, map out how you may go about doing that task. If it is to pick up a cake for your friends birthday, set an alarm for it, write down a note, call someone and ask him/her to remind you about it in 3 hours time. Get going with it!

Step 5: Whittle down your list and give yourself a break after every 1 or 2 items. A break is probably a 1 hour break to a night's off. Depending on how much time you have!
Take a break, but don't take a long vacation. Build up on the momentum and get things done fast.