Every step an arrival

Recently I bought a book titled 'Every step an arrival'.
The book is a 90-day devotional by Eugene H. Peterson, most famously known for translating the Bible into 'The Message' version. And in one of the devotionals, Peterson asked the reader to name a way where God made a difference in your life. And now to tell the story back to God in song.

So here it is.
Earlier this year, I had appendicitis. And in the darkest moment of my life, God allowed good friends to come into my life to encourage me and made the hospitalisation period much more bearable.


In the darkest moment of my life
You brought me joy
You brought your joy back into my life
You took my pain
I live again
Bringing glory to your name

Poem - Struggle

How alone must David have felt? 

Every day out in the open only with the sheep

How alone was David at night?

Only animals and stars are in sight

How lonely was David on the inside?

He tried to fill it with battle and wives

Yet what could bring him delight?

Only when He realise, the Lord is there beside.

Poem: love

Ever since we said "I do",
There're now so many things we don't
And for that I keep blaming you
And you are angry at my tone.

The rise and grind, the bread and wine,
Puts a frown as morning dawn.
Still family, and still love, we whine
Looking at each other, happy yet torn.

It's barely been a year or two
Since we went for our honeymoon
Reality makes us a fool
And we work till we're Looney tuned.

The slamming of doors the throwing of hands
Till we cry for nights on end
Yet remember, how this love it flutter
And the reason it all began.

-huangxi

Solution

I'd rather stay and wait
On bended knees
Than to fight without You
Only to flee

Patience not measured
By the hours you wait
But be cheery and hopeful
Even if it's late

This ability develops slow
And waiting is its game
Learning to remain till the glory show
And fulfilled in His name.

Solution comes when you present
The girded hands and feet
Struggle not in the quicksand
But in waiting, Him you'll meet.

-huangxi

Inspired by Solution - Hillsong

Poem - Purpose

I woke up to the sunrise,
Though at three i sleep.
Look out at the windows,
Greeted by the tweet.

Tired still, i tossed and turn
Wanting my slumberland.
Yet mundane tasks filled my brain
From beginning till the end

The plan erupts!
Still in pajamas
My mind opened a can -

Of worms to squash,
And a smile to see,
Of yours at the end.

-huangxi

Ps: it's 2am, i have work at 7am and I can't sleep. take the wheel Jesus. I am soooooo tired but I can't sleep

On your marks

Take what you need,
and only what you need.
The road is long. 

Pack enough, pack light, 
bring a friend. 
That's what will see you through,
till the end.

-huangxi

Poem: Void

You really cant fill for the stomach
what is empty in the heart.
You stuff your lungs with smoke,
when all you need is hope.

Walking in the cold alleyway
With a crumpled bill of fifty
Searching for things with value
Until you reach the city

Beggaring is not about the lack
Of food, a place, or poverty.
These people require, I suspect
Love from a family.

Poem - hope

Tiny circular light holes in prison; 
filtered rays of orange pouring through grey
cell, lifeless, stained crimson
opposing shades of disarray.

Poem - Courage

Don't hug me I'm scared
The cold wind blows my hair
Away from my face, bared
Just to breathe the air

Poem - Year

A full circle round the sun
three hundred and sixty five
days placed into months
and seasons of joy and life

starts off chilly and cold
February breaks the mold
March ushers in the sun
until July's Autumn

Yet not forget Summer
which springs up after Spring
the flip-side season of winter
Oh what joy it brings!

Basking in the sun
till August leaves turn red
and September winds come
makes the leafmeal bed.

From yellow to orange then red
It ends off white instead
Yet after the stormy snow
The sun will reset aglow.

Poem - Unsure

Happiness - not a destination

but journey to it we must

Success all humans' common aim

For this sole reason we self inject pain

Dopamine over dose

An escapade from reality

Oxytocin injected

Relieve the frightful scares

What is morality?

If your poison can be my apple

Why justice why equality

Isn't my body the only I serve?

Yet the guilt of past doings haunts with regret

The joy of gift giving? or the remission of sin

Hari kiri except we don't die

So others life we continue to hurt with our lies

What shall we do O Master

What can we say?

Apologies neither suffice 

Nor is worthy to repay

Life lived well and socially respected

yet society is cruel and the poor neglected

Do the filthy work please oh dear man

So i need not dirty, my clean soft hands.

lonEly loVe

Black

With spots of brown

Not all around

Just some found

Dark skies

No stars

Noise heard from the revving of cars-

It’s a long night.

Glass is formed from sand

thud heard when the bottle meets land

Waste on the beach

Ocean just receives

Paper Airplane

Folded with a nice tail

Tries to fly

Flops and fail

The blazing horn

Ships depart

All around, looks of forlorn

Thoughtful sending of hearts

Side character watches

Protagonist love resolves

Antagonist transformed

Remainder remains

Is there no plot

Who shall develop?

No audience for the film

Just gratitude awarded.

Yet job fulfilled

Life must continue

Hope can appear

If the person dare desire.

Post Script: 

I don't know what poem this is. Thoughts overflow like a shower rampant waterfall.

Noise clutters, yet the silence speaks.

You speak to me in words, I reply you with emotions.

Stop hurting, start healing. Healing starts only when one realizes they can be healed, not just that they are injured.

-huangxi

Poem - Sleep

Scurrying rats
pacing away from the landing of paws
furry feline; a mobile threat,
dictionary's definition of death.

A rodent's life mission
not chosen but given
to bring for the next generation
a better starting point.

in every caste
struggles prevail;
but its relative happiness?
On a different scale.

The tiring rat race
Will it ever end?
Even if it does,
What reward is at hand?
____________________________________
On the deathbed of hay, the rat rest and stay,
what thoughts will break his piece of mind?
but to know its son's best move isn't to pray,
It may have one last breath and rest in time.

Poem - I really tried

I tried to imagine
i tried with despair
you're here with me
As i make that prayer

That you'll never leave me
behind all alone
but your embracing hugs
will make me feel at home

But! I yearn and cry for those hugs
Which I don't get for we're far apart
soon i will be back, though dirty and rugged;
Please still accept me, I give you my heart.

Poem - Numb

Four walls around, cement and bricks;
The corner has cobwebs, spiders and liz-
ards are crawling, this is their home
in which you're confined in, stuck all alone

Days passed and nights come
Through the window you observe
Daily a new scoffer will ask
For what sin do you this sentence, serve?

Inquisitive or caring, one does not know
But lumps in the throat comes as I reply
To speak my evil with truth and without my sorrow
As I patiently wait for the day which I fly-

out beyond the bars, no longer in premises
And with my green card I explore my freedom
No longer in dreadfully ugly clothes
Though it's still far I dream of this moment

-cricantrail
Can I faster finish my SOL of 28 days.....

Poem - Strung Out

Sometimes you win,
Sometimes you lose,
Sometimes you just sit down with booze.

There's cuts that kill
And wounds that heal
But don't forget those whom you knew

Were there in sunshine
Beside you in rain
Offer you a shoulder to ease through the pain

No currency nor change
Could put up my smile
Like one my best friend arranged
And place there for a while

Poem: Pillar

Grey cylinder standing strong
Supporting up the ceiling wall
Firm and upright built with might
Making sure that it won't fall.

Gravity's center lies on it
Yet it does not budge
Even when it suffer a hit
There's no difference than a touch.

Just what we need to hold our lives
Without cluttering our mind
Removing it is like playing dice
No control of any kind

Some hug it, lean on it, stare at it in awe
It's existence is our cure
For all the troubles we may have
This pillar will hold them all.

Poem: Sparrow

Sparrows

Her heart to her beloved

was that of a lone sparrow

Tattooed indelibly with blood

that flowed from the heart with sorrow

An issue of blood caused by remorse

drawn on the fingertips with time

Every drip and drop - her loss

As she creates a red sunshine

The strength resonates through her dark red blood

Lack of oxygen, deprived of oxytocin;

She tried to love others as hard

and as deep as from her heart within

Petite little sparrow, such insignificance!

Dejection faced, would an angel appear?

Yet the organs inside show that there's no difference

Between her and another, from front to rear.

But yet a mystery within her holds
A unique sparkle, dazzle and shimmer
She steadies her footing as her beauty unfolds
And face the future - smiling both eyes closed.

Dedicated to someone

-huangxi

Poem: Repose

Can you hear the muted screams
From human bones in dried river streams
These skulls, joints and broken bones
Though together were all so alone

The neighbouring dust and stones disguise
The pain and suffering inside
Each step taken into the valley
Gave them anguish instead of merry

These people had their ups in life
But through this down did not survive
Had they finished their melody
Would they have lived their destiny

Sad sights heaven saw looking down below
Weary people, soulless eyes use rocks for pillow

1. Many tears they cried for they didn't win but lose

At least in heaven they now have repose

-cthx

In life, heaven is often seen as struggles repose.
In our father's arms we have our failures' repose.
But if you sojourn alone, you give your own repose.

To a certain you out there: stop being so hard on yourself. You go through the valleys of life and you failed somewhere along the way, your dreams turn to dust and your anger got you carried away, this anger at self don't let it stay, but remember keep happiness at bay. Think of the sun in the month of May, shining brightly at noonday; you are good enough don't prove it to me, it doesn't matter for you're loved already.

-huangxi

Poem: Parting Picture

The shirts we don were both in white,
But our hearts no longer knew
Coz though we stood there side by side,
We didn't have a clue
As to why we weren't talking,
Or what to talk about
All that's left is silence dancing -
And the sound it makes - so loud.

We took a picture - who's idea?
printed it on paper.
One for you and one for me,
To hold it just as dear
But after you left you then recalled,
The picture's stil' at my place.
We then agreed to meet again
And it'll be yours when I see your face.

And as I returned to my abode
Two polaroids at my place.
Identical were the smiles that showed
The happiness on our face.
But the picture just couldn't capture
The feelings in my heart.
I don't know if you want together
But I don't want to be apart.

-hx