26 November, 2015

I had a dream in 2 hours of sleep.

I just fell asleep peacefully for the first time and dreamt. It wasn't under the dream catcher for I wasn't under my bed. I fell asleep by the side while in my house, sprawled and reading a book when I felt tired and my eyes closed, contacts still inside. 


I dreamt a dream, and it was my first in ages, perhaps years. With one so clear, definitely the first.

You always knew I couldn't sleep well, I never told you why.
I never told you I never had dreams. 

Dreaming, if you ever were an inquisitive person like me, happens when there is REM. Rapid eye movement. Sleep that happen about two hours after you dozed off. That is when most dreams occur.
Deep sleep occurs after REM take place.

I fall into deep sleep quite often. At least I believe so. Why?
Because when I fall asleep its sometimes hard to wake me up and get me to a full conscious state.

But after about 6 hours since the start of my slumber, I awake at the first burst of sunrays, or the first laughter bursting forth from a distance. In fact, it's anything that's unfamiliar to the alleys of my life.

But after so long, and for the first time, I had a dream.

I dreamt something I knew was possible after a gigantic eon.
But would probably not come to pass.

But I'm happy that I dreamt. But as I look at it and realized I have not been under the dream catcher, not under the mythical protection of it, or rather, not under the protection of your good will, - I wonder if it was a good dream at all.

Pre birthday thoughts.

Having a million scattered thoughts to pen down, i went to read a book.

The breaking of waves, the white in waves... Still wondering what this means.

Searching for an answer, looking for my epiphany. 

Deadline is in 8 days.
Am i doomed?

I honestly felt this year will be my best birthday ever.
I still think so though it feels not.

Maybe my intuition can prove my feelings wrong for once.

23 November, 2015


People keep strumming the wrong strings, and clap for the pop tunes, no one realises talent for its worth, and the notion of hard work is overrated.

Kill me for the post, strip me thin and bare, a brain wins rote learning when motivation's square.

22 November, 2015

Best friends

When you learn so much about a person and now you are forced to forget most of it until you become best friends again(if it ever happens), its hard. 
Its so hard.
Because honestly speaking, at least as an infj, i only stop caring if you make me slam the door on you. Or else i see no reason to slam the door.
No reason at all.

You should never slam the door on a person. Everyone is a nice person when you really get to know them deep down.

I hope i will be able to move on.
It will probably take another week, even though i told you a month. I don't think you would need to forget about me, but it would be better for you. A bridge can always be built again, but if you want to prevent a flood, build a dam.

A dam is high. A dam only let its waters flow in bursts. A dam doesnt work like a river, the water doesn't flow so often.

If we want to work it out, it has to be a dam. Meetings are less regular, at least in the beginning. After that, at least until the confirmation has come again that I've moved on, we can try out the friendship again.

My mistake the previous time was running away.
It helped and i took a month to erase the memory which wasn't strong.

But i realised.

"Running away from something is no good. But running to something, now thata different. That's running to a goal. Running away from something, if you do that you may not like what you find." - Uncle Axel, paraphrased excerpt from The Chrysalids

Its time for me to run to something instead of running away.

I'm wiser now. 


20 November, 2015

A Day's Journey

The tangerine sun waltz through the sky
As time goes from dawn to dusk
The arc of the trail of its blazing rays
Like a boomerang swerved past

The cheerful chirp catapults through the boulevards 
As the gentle breeze sweeps me off my feet 
And journeys me afar

The clouds are singing
The wind is dancing 
Cant you see oh?
Its a good day rejoicing!

The streets are filled with autumn air
Canopies are shades of red
Lets have fun just like the leaves
Dancing till they're dead

Its a day - turned into night 
Let's start the campfire
We'll dance around feeling the warmth
Make merry in cold weather

The moon is glowing
The stars are shining 
Can you feel it?
We're all now sparkling!

The bonfire crackles as the wood creaks
And fades with it the light
But the ambers within glow through and through
And stay throughout the night.

As the breathing ceases and the heaving starts
We all lie on the floor
Drunkards sober whatever the like
On the ground we snore

The night is passing,
Dew is forming,
When tomorrow comes,
We'll keep walking.

-cricantrail :)

12 November, 2015

Been thinking

I've been thinking.

The way I do things, the way I try to do things. The way I help people.

One day, I'm gonna be doing it when suddenly it just breaks me.

When that happens, I hope there will be a true friend there to hold my broken pieces.