I just want to live

Its like swimming, you push yourself in, get up. It's good exercise. You train ur muscles. You get to play with water. Unleash the inner kid in you.
I wish I know how to swim.

But I can't swim. I can't. I want to experience life like others but as I push myself in all I find is a drowning me gasping for air, wanting to live the way I know. And so I held my breath and stretched my smile. There is no doubt of course, how I was the weirdest in the school of fishes swimming, always floating to the top like a whale. But it was just the case: mammal me do not own gills. It is not in my system. I conform, but I know I must be who I am.

Don't you think that I'm a runner, I'll be coming with my guns up shooting at the moon to bring the sun up.

Find no meaning in life? It's fine. Just write down a goal you think will take your entire life to achieve. Now go. Pick yourself up. You are you and only you are fully responsible for yourself and for yourself only. I learnt that a long time ago and boy, I wasn't glad. I was furious, cringing at the fact that I had to embrace such a travesty. But like the cracked mirror, it was truth. Shatter it. Shatter it. Pick up something you create. Form your own mould and mould your own form. Set apart yourself like a flower from weeds. Create your avatar and be your avatar. Don't be a facade. Be your avatar. Be one with the facade. Because you know that you deserve to be who you want to be, and people will come to like you if you are truly happy with who you are. If you are and people don't like you, you wouldn't bother anyway. That's how you know.

-sam